So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
