So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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