My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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