Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
