Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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