I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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