After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
