You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
