also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
