do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
