this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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