What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
