i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
