I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
