oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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