and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
