I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
