It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
