He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
