I'm going to jail i love you
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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