actually, I'm a sock model
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
high people should be assigned attendants
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
