This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize