I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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