recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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