So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
