Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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