oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
