Kiss
Puke
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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