So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
