The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
