You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
