Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
