I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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