If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
