she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
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