everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
