dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
