Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
third nipple confirmed
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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