I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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