Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
