dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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