guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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