I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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