She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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