Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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