ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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