we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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