It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
