It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
