So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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