really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
