..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
