oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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