Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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