I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
