is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize