everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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