I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
