How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
