Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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