Say something about gay babies.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
